i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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