In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
