Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
