So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
