Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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