I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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