is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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