already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
