Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
