I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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