But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
