Swine flu is the new snow day.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
