Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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