Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
