My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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