"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
