HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
