2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
