I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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