after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
