They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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