it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
