It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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