she was so not down for the gang bang
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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