Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dear god my vagina.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
