Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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