I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
