Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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