Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize