Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
