I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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