You can't special order awesome
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
