If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
