They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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