I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
