I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
