Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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