Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Acid is not a monday night drug
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
