Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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