My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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