She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
