This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
