How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
