last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
