North Korea, Best Korea!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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