The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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