he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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