The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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