we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
