I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
