butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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