Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Still dying that you shit outside
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
