She's JV to your varsity
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
