found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
