Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
