she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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