Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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