I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
